Sunday, November 15, 2009

An Ordinary American Family


I started my discussion with my American friends about their families with a question what they would prefer mostly, a wealth, a successful career or a happy family. My friends were sure in their answers and the answers were the same "a happy family". For them, having a family with warm and close relationships is an essential part of their "American Dream". From our discussion I have learned that Americans have similar beliefs and opinions about a family and roles of its members in it. Most of my friends have a nuclear family of usually 4 members. But as they also mentioned, today there are many single parent families in the United States. For example, one of my friends lives with his mom for a week and then he goes to his dad's house to spend a week with him and it has been repeating through his life since their parents got a divorce. According to my American friends' speech, today the numbers of single parent families are increasing annually because of the frequent divorces. But in spite of that there are still also many happy families in the US. I think my roommate's family can be a good example of an ordinary American family. He lives with his parents and younger brother. He told me that every family member of his family is independent from each other and is responsible for his or her own actions, which is different from our culture. He thinks that his obligation as a son is a taking care of their parents when they won't be able to do that by themselves. Also all of my American friends told me that when they face serious problems such as choosing their future career they usually discuss it with their fathers, but when there are some problems including health and private problems they ask advice from their moms. That made me think that father’s role in a family is still dominant, even though mothers also play significant roles. The most interesting thing that I have learned during our discussion was that members of American extended families don’t live close to each other, in other words not concentrated in a one place. For example, my roommate’s relatives including his grandparents live all over the United States. So because of a long distance between him and his relatives he does not visit them often. In comparison with our culture, because of unavailability to visit each other regularly American families have usually once in a two years so called a family reunion in which all members of a family gather together and have a big family dinner.

5 comments:

  1. Actually I mean the first part of my sentence that the aspect of independence of every member from each other differs from a Mongolian family. But you can also say that. Usually parents are responsible for their children even they are at the age of 19 or 20. If their child did something wrong, people would judge their parents that they couldn't discipline their children well.

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  2. what a great way to start out your questions. That in itself says a lot about the importance of the family in America......or perhaps it is the same all over the world.

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  3. It was interesting to read your article which includes your friends' examples: ) It is different from my country too, that every members in a family is independent and responsible for what they do.
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    Yes I'm excited to experience Thanksgiving Day here, too! Also, I am going to Japan this winter, but it is just for a vacation. I will come back here, and actually, am planning to stay here for 4 years.

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  4. I think you have a good conversation with your roommate. I get much same information with you throuhg talking with my roommate. I really appreciate their independence. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. The long distance between relatives is really different from Chinese family. In China, we have a strong relationship with our relatives and always get together, especially in big festival. How about Mongolia ? Looking forwards to your answer : )

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  5. Hi Jay,

    I got about the same answers from my roommate. My roommates paretns do not live together anymore too. In the course of time there were more and more divorces, and I guess divorces are very common especially in huge cities by now.

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